Now stick with me here, this isn’t what you think! I am not going down the route of a deviant sex pest but instead going the opposite and share with you a recipe I kind of bastardised/pinched/improved from one of those celebrity chef types.
So, first things first lets discuss what a sausage roast is. It is without doubt one of the cheapest roasts you can do. It is pure unadulterated gluttony for under a tenner. Basically it is a huge pig in a blanket that can be eaten hot as a roast dinner or sliced up when cold with some blue cheese on top. I make no apologies for my pictures, this is a real kitchen with no wanky staged props.
- Sausage meat (approx. 1KG). Buy the decent stuff, not some value crap.
- Smoked streaky bacon.
- Herbs and stuff including Fennel, juniper berries, onion powder, salt and pepper.
Stage 1. Choose your herbage.
You can really chuck whatever you fancy into this, chillies can work well or even just some plain 20 year old herb de provence that you have kicking around in the back of your cupboard. I use a tablespoon of fennel, a tablespoon of Juniper Berries, a tea spoon of onion powder and then a liberal coating of sea salt and black pepper. Actually thats a lie, I don’t use spoons at all, I just chuck what I think is the right amount into the bowl and see if it works once it is cooked.
Stage 2. Beat your meat.
Now this bowl below is not my sick bowl, that lives in another cupboard marked “spillage kit”. This bowl is full of the sausage meat and all of this is going to be digested in your stomach, yum! I buy my sausage meat from the very good butchers at Darts Farm in Devon (you can thank me later lads) and to be fair it is only a few pence more expensive than Tesco. You’re going to eat this so treat yourself. This lot here cost me £8.
Tip it into the bowl followed by your herbage mix. Then mix it up and properly beat it to a pulp. You want mush. If you find your sausage meat a bit wet, add a tablespoon of bread crumbs.
Now I know this looks like shit but just stick with it okay?
Stage 3. Get your pork on the side!
Get two sheets of tin foil and overlap them by about 10cm. Using some kitchen roll, spread a liberal coating of butter over the foil leaving about 10cm around the outer edges. If you don’t do this, your meat will stick to the foil and you will bad, you will probably cry and lets face it, you will be a let down.
Get your bacon out and lay it like the picture below making sure there are no gaps. This is your blanket for your pig so if you want to go all fancy and have a herringbone style then knock yourself out….loser. Once done get handfuls of your meat and squish it into a sausage shape, make sure the meat is packed together tightly otherwise it will fall apart…just like your emotions.
Stage 4: Wrap your meat up before putting it in.
Once done, wrap the meat up and put some bacon over the ends and over the joins.
Then wrap it up till it looks like a lovely cracker.
Stage 5. Cook it till its hot.
Now the fun part. Whack your foot long pork sword into the oven at 200 degrees C for about 1 hour. After this time get it out and check it, I put a metal skewer through the middle and if it comes out clean and hot then the meat inside is done. Put it back into the oven for a further 20 mins or until the bacon is browned off, 10 mins before the end put some fancy parma ham or something similar on the top.
And that’s it. This will serve 6 adults once sliced up which is £1.66666667p per person. Please note if you give yourself food poisoning by your own sheer stupidity of not checking if it is properly cooked or not then thats your own fault dumbass, don’t sue me unless you want a jar of marbles as compensation.