This blog has been inspired by my eldest son who is 6 very nearly 7 and in his third year of schooling. About four weeks ago he came home and proudly announced to his mum that he had a girlfriend however he didn’t want to tell me or his four year old brother as he anticipated that there would have been a lot of ribbing caused by it, I’m not sure if that means I have bought him up to expect the piss to be taken or if he just knows that his brother and I are both ready and primed for a good wind up whenever we can.
Moving on this made me think about how the whole falling in love with the opposite species thing was like when I was his age. I distinctly remember it being a confusing time as in the 80’s on northern council estates, there was very much a distinction between boys and girls under 12. We never played together apart from the occasional game of Curby and it was very much a “eewww girls” kind of attitude. However I knew instinctively that I liked girls and when I got my first girlfriend I remember it being special and wanting to be with her all the time, I think I was 6!
The confusion crept in as outside of school I would shun all girls yet in school during class and break times I couldn’t spend enough time with my “first love” and used to love parading round hand in hand…it lasted about 10 days but it set me on a track of chasing girls and from that moment, I was the lothario of the playground…well I thought I was but in hindsight having a basin haircut and wearing my sisters hand me down trainers probably meant that I was more bottom of the pile when it came to boyfriend choices however I took whatever came my way and by the age of 8 I had mastered the art of hand holding.
Nobody ever told me how to be around girls or what society expected of me at this time. This was years before I knew how babies were made or indulged in a bit of light fondling with the opposite sex, but in hindsight I think it would have been useful for someone to sit me down and telling me it was okay to have a girlfriend and not to be upset if it ends as quickly as it begins. I suffered a few heartbreaks as a young boy and spaffed my hard earned 50p a week pocket money on numerous chocolate bars and gifts for my ladies, funnily I don’t ever recall getting anything back though? Apart from Impetigo from one girl who liked a sloppy kiss.
So now my eldest has started to get his head turned by the ladies, how should I approach his situation or should I leave him to make his own way in love? I lean towards the former as I want him to enjoy this part of his life after all he has a whole lifetime of his life being ruled by lust and love so to retain his innocence for a while would be good, but by the same token love and lust can also ruin your life, so….
What would you do?
Me? I’m going to rely on my chosen method for resolving difficult problems, heads or tails.