This blog has been inspired by the huge number of mummy blogs that focus on trying to conceive a child. There are thousands that focus on everything from how you shouldn’t beat yourself up about how long it takes to fall pregnant to what position your legs should be in after being “filled up”, however nearly all of them fail to mention men and what it’s like for a bloke trying to successfully impregnate his other half. So as a bloke who has experienced this situation, I’m going to tell you.
First of all, most men like sex and we are literally no happier then when we are balls deep, and this is the way it should be. Sex between both parties should be fun, enjoyable and something to look forward to. The moment you start scheduling in sex and turning it from an act of enjoyment to an act of work, is the moment you start to lose interest from your partner. We know that to have a kid we need to leave it in at the crucial moment, however sometimes we also like to “take it out” at the crucial moment so just let us on occasion.
Blokes need to feel part of the experience of sex and trying for a baby, not like they are just there to provide a fill up & go service and I think a lot of women forget that. When trying for a baby a lot of women forget that it is a partnership and become incredibly fixated on the end goal of having a child. Listen, it’s great that so much focus is on the aim however you simply can’t treat an act of nature as you would a work project.
Stop banging on about it. Yes we know you want a kid, yes we know all of your mates are falling pregnant and yes we know it will make our lives and relationship complete (and incredibly poorer financially). Your life shouldn’t revolve around trying for a baby, your work shouldn’t be effected and your alone time shouldn’t be spent planning in sex around ovulation times.
You’ve probably spotted the common theme here and that is how you treat trying for a baby. I’m no medical expert but I have a sneaky suspicion that when you start planning sex, altering diets and generally turning yourself into a baby maker, then the chances of successful insemination will be less because of the amount of stress you are under. I’ve had this scenario and once we removed all the stress and pressure of having kids, our first child came along which could be a huge coincidence but as this is my blog I’m attributing it to being stress free.
All this being said I am acutely aware that there are couples who struggle to have children and some that unfortunately never will. Taking 6 months to conceive isn’t a struggle, taking 12 months plus certainly is and for those people I remove my humorous sarcastic tone just for a minute. The strength and determination it takes to carry on in this situation is superhuman and you will always have my upmost respect for sticking with it. If you are one of these people then you can completely ignore my comments, however if you’re 2 months into trying for a baby and are already acting like a prick then take note and let your fella chuck his muck in other places every now and again.